Grievance Report
We are clinically depressed because of your marketing.
That misery is what drives us to create work so aggressively good it provides a fleeting dopamine hit. Then we inevitably see your competitor's awful website and the despair cycle begins anew.
Why Are We “Sad”?
Because looking at the internet is a form of physical torture for us. We exist in a wasteland of pasteurized, template-driven corporate nonsense that actively insults the intelligence of everyone forced to look at it.
Every time your company uses a generic stock photo of people shaking hands in a boardroom, a designer literally perishes. Genuinely. Our sadness mutated into rage, and that rage birthed an agency that weaponizes design to punish the mediocre.
We are not here to be your friends. We are not a family. We are a mercenary hit squad dedicated to making your brand slightly less humiliating for everyone involved.
“The opposite of remarkable is not bad. It's forgettable.”
— Our Unofficial Motto
What We Stand For
Our values.
Brutal Honesty
If your brand is a dumpster fire, we will tell you. We will not sugarcoat it. Feelings are irrelevant; revenue is not.
Aggressive Quality
Good enough is for losers. We labor over every pixel until our eyes bleed so you can look mildly competent.
Weaponized Metrics
We despise 'vibes'. We worship cold, hard, uncompromising data that proves we were right.
Spite-Driven Speed
We work fast so we don't have to look at your old website any longer than absolutely necessary.
The Accomplices
The misanthropes behind the work.
We specifically hire brilliant weirdos who hate everything except winning. Please do not attempt to make small talk with them.
Alex Void
Creative Director
Jordan Null
Head of Strategy
Sam Kafka
Lead Developer
Riley Storm
SEO Director
Casey Flux
Performance Lead
Morgan Edge
Content Strategist
Our Journey
From garage to global.
Founded in a garage. Literally.
Two designers, one developer, and an unreasonable amount of ambition.
First 50 clients
Word spread fast. Turns out, results do that.
Team grew to 15+
Hired the most talented weirdos we could find.
$42M client revenue generated
Not our revenue. Theirs. That's the point.
Global reach, local obsession
150+ brands across 12 countries. Still sad. Still hungry.
Are you finished humiliating yourself?
We exclusively take on projects that involve massive budgets or zero creative restrictions. Ideally both.
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